According to the EPT commercial I saw last night, that’s the number of women who can misread a pregnancy test.  Now, I ask you… who ARE these stupid bitches and why are they having sex and risking adding more idiots to the already crowded idiot gene pool?

Just sayin’.

K, so I was watching the news today and there was a story regarding a gay teen who was murdered for “being gay.”  Apparently his attacker (an obvious homophobic scumbag) felt that soliciting a prostitute only to find out that the feminine-looking beauty he chose was actually a male necessitated a “self-defense” maneuver which included dismembering, decapitating and then setting the boy on fire.

Because being hit on by a man you aren’t remotely interested in is a crime so heinous that you can justify killing the fella.  Because clearly if you don’t, you’re not doing your duty, protecting other men/women from unwanted advances. 

Wow, if that’s true, there are a whole lotta dorks out there I could have cut to ribbons and gotten away with it for flirting with me.  Hello?  What ever happened to “Thanks, but no thanks,” followed by a quick-step the phuck away from the person you don’t dig?

Just sayin.

I just don’t get homophobia at all.  I’m pretty sure that gay men have ideas about what’s attractive to them, and they aren’t just hiding behind the bushes waiting to ambush and convert every straight male they can get their hands on.  And if you’re so sure you’re straight, what’s the big deal if a gay man hits on you anyway?  It isn’t like you can’t just decline his advances, much like you would a woman who didn’t appeal to you.  Duh.

Regarding a piece I read today, http://www.asylum.com/2009/08/13/why-do-young-boys-abuse-animals/, regarding some boys who beat a baby moose with sticks, injuring it so badly that it had to be put down by wildlife officials, I have to say, Colin Horvath has said it all,

“We as humans have a certain value to life and we instill in our children that value as good parents. These children never learned that lesson and should be put down also. The value system does not work when we keep the garbage of humanity alive. Even the animals who are predators do not kill for sport but survival. These children do not conform to the standards of any creature. Get rid of them. Their parents won’t miss them as they did not show concern for them when raising them. As humans we have to get it through our heads that some lives do not have a value and are detriments to society.”

My thought here is that when animals begin to hunt outside of what we consider “allowable bounds” we put them down and no one even blinks.  Why, then, do we allow this sort of behavior from human beings, and especially children, and let them live? 

If a life has no value to society and in fact, creates a danger to society at large, and if that life becomes a drain to a society which must support it through court proceedings and penal institutions, perhaps that life should simply be extinguished.

Earlier today , my desk looked vaguely like a paper factory threw up on it.  No lie.  I have mad tree-killing abilities, I guess.  Tree killing is a particularly sucky Super Power to have though, because I hate killing anything, especially trees.  Anyway, people keep shoveling their print jobs at me and I keep smiling and telling them “thank you” for it.

Argh!

Make it stop!

PS  Nothing says “business casual” like pink lipgloss.  With glitter.

PPS  Unless we’re talking mini skirts and flip flops.  In December.  Because that’s pretty business casual, too.

So, the not-so-lovely Miss Nikki feels as though she was the wronged party in all the affair nonsense with my husband.  No, I’m not kidding.  She feels as though I have ruined her life because I didn’t ask for a divorce when my marriage was suffering or because I didn’t just DIE to get out of her way or something.  She feels as though she DESERVES my husband and younger daughter more than I do, apparently because I “was never home and didn’t do anything for them.”

There’s a head-scratcher, right?  The skeezer is clearly delusional.

I worked 10.5 hour days, so that my husband would have ample time to spend with her.  You’d think she would be thanking me for all my thoughtfulness on that front.  As far as not being a good wife/mother… um, who’s having the affair here?  And who routinely verbally abused her young daughter before her death on the railroad tracks at the age of 10?  She hated that child until the day she died.  And Nikki told her so daily.

And now I find out that basically all the years I considered her a dear friend, she hated me because she thought I had the perfect life, and was trying to ruin my life in order to better hers.  And granted, my life IS pretty good.  My husband and I were good friends before she came into the picture, trying to rub me out of the family photo.  We made good money, we had lots of friends, we owned two homes, one of which was for our retirement and weekends.  We have two amazing daughters.  She hated me because she had nothing and I had it all and she felt I didn’t deserve or appreciate it.

*sigh*

There are just not words to describe how I’m feeling today, though “sad” is the tip of the iceberg. 

Have you ever had one of those days when you’re practically positive the whole world is conspiring against you?  That you’re not smart enough, thin enough, good enough?  When you keep up the self-talk that makes you feel even worse,  and knowing it makes you feel worse, you do it anyway?  And then end up feeling like quite the victim/martyr for doing so?  Have you ever muttered, “Poor me, poor me,” simply because being so blue and wretched and miserable almost makes you feel better?

Thank goodness it’s Friday, because I really need an escape today.

How does one go about begging the US of A for money when he/she has grossly mismanaged his/her funds?  I mean, if I take a whole bunch of days off of work and can’t pay the cable company, isn’t that basically the same thing as big industry making more cars than they can sell and needing a handout to cover their overhead for the month?  Where is my handout bailout, Uncle Sam?

Now believe me, I understand that folks fall on hard times.  Life happens, ya know?  And I have NO problem giving the Average Joe help when he needs it, because that is what this country is supposed to be about – teamwork.  But if a major corporation (and not just one) falls on hard times, and then gets a HUGE chunk of MY tax dollars for free(basically), lays off workers (like the aforementioned Average Joe, who then cannot afford to buy food, let alone a new car) and THEN gets to file bankruptcy anyway, it just seems a whole lot like stealing to me. 

So, since it’s unlikely the government is going to give me any free money if I mismanage my personal spending, I guess I’m going to have to plan on taking care of myself (as usual) and not even bothering to dare hope anyone but me is going to take care of me and mine if we need it.  I’m going to add “tax payer funded bailouts” to my list of things I don’t want to pay taxes toward anymore.

Some big city journalists were talking about how teens hugging in schools is a big problem – hugging is clearly a new trend.  Those godless teenaged heathens – HUGGING!!!

Um… what?  Just because it’s never happened to YOU, guy, doesn’t mean it’s new (wait! I bet sex is new, too!).  In fact, I distinctly recalling hugging male and female classmates way, way, WAY back in the prehistoric days when I was in school.  I’m pretty sure we also had holes in the floorboards of our cars so we could pick them up and carry them…

Can anyone tell me why hugging would be viewed as a problem?  In this world, rife with violence, anger, hate and entirely too much text messaging, isn’t hugging a pretty darned terrific thing?  At the very worst, the dark, seedy underworld of teenaged hugging can be viewed as relatively harmless.  Unless you’re the moral majority, I guess.  Cheese and rice, I can’t stand those guys. 

What is it about this country that wants to beat the ever-loving humanity out of every last man, woman and child?

That is all anyone could want, really.  To wake up every morning and be grateful for the day.  To look forward to the chores on your own “to do” list.  And right now, right this moment, that life is so close, I can nearly taste it; within my grasp, but still 4 Wednesdays away from today.  I’m a horse at the starting gate, waiting for it to open (and I’ve never been any good at waiting). 

But soon…

I will wake up in the morning and I won’t hurry out of bed.  I will scratch my dog’s belly and when she smiles her doggie smile, I will smile back and be glad to be alive.

I will reinstitute our old tradition of brewing a pot of coffee to drink with my husband, so we can talk and connect before we start our day.  Maybe we’ll have breakfast, too, but coffee is a must.

I will listen to the chooks in my backyard and my soul will know peace when I hear them waking up in the morning and going to bed at night.

I will take my time when I’m in the garden because a garden is heaven on earth and meant to be enjoyed.

I will spend more time enjoying EVERY part of life, even the things I didn’t used to because I was too busy.

I will express gratitude that I have time to grow and cook healthy food for myself and for my family.

I will stop obsessing about my weight, because with hard work comes a strong body.  And nothing is harder work than farm life.

I will bring in flowers from my yard sometimes and put them in a vase where I can see them, just because.

I will know that true happiness lies in simpler things and that to be happy with less is to be happy.

…not today though.  To preface, I’m clearly on a bitch-fest roll today.  Sorry about that…

You know what would be JUST SUPER?  If various government figureheads wouldn’t visit the fine city of Denver, CO during rush hour.  In fact, they could just stay away from here altogether, no matter the time of day, and I would be a-okay, peachy-keen fine with that, too. 

But, since the VP decided that he HAS to be here today, THANK YOU, sir for screwing up traffic so my 10 minute drive from lunch back to work took me 30 minutes.  Obviously you don’t know what a 1-hour lunch looks like, seeing as how you’re so much more important than the rest of us peons and stuff.  Aren’t there any OTHER cities you could inconvenience?

I’m sure it’s hard to empathize though, poor out-of-touch-with-the-little-people you, since peasants like me are paying your salary so you can go hang out at the Denver Museum.